“It benefits all of us if we come together and are vulnerable, express love, and support each other. We’ve got to figure this out because it's better for us to be together and to have love in our lives than it is for us to not,” shares Amesha. Today,...
“It benefits all of us if we come together and are vulnerable, express love, and support each other. We’ve got to figure this out because it's better for us to be together and to have love in our lives than it is for us to not,” shares Amesha. Today, Amesha, Dr. Kris Marsh, and LaToya Franklyn, Esq. talk with host D-Rich about dating in 2023 in the Black community.
The reality is that men and women have different ideas and expectations when it comes to dating. This can make dating more complicated than necessary for everyone and can cause men and women to have the wrong view of one another. Instead of coming into a relationship with preconceived expectations, it is best to keep an open mind and spend time learning about the person. Each person is different and the things that one woman likes are not going to necessarily be the same for the next woman. Black women nowadays are more financially independent and may not be looking to fill the old traditional relationship roles. This is an adjustment for men who are used to being needed in a very particular way and now are needed for different reasons.
No two men and women are exactly alike in what they want from a relationship. As Black women are becoming more and more successful and independent, they are dating and marrying for different reasons than prior generations of women. There is nothing wrong with being single and spending time working on yourself so that once you do enter a relationship, you are entering as the best version of yourself as possible. Take time to get to know the person you are dating and try not to assume their desires or expectations based on their gender.
• “A lot of people are walking around out here broken and they don't want to do the healing because it hurts.” (12:00-12:04 | Amesha)
• “I do think it really is important for us to broaden our parameters of what dating is, and I think coffee shops and going to get tea is a really great way.” (17:22-17:31 | Dr. Kris)
• “We still have these kind of old school philosophies, even though we're modern women. And men, I think a lot of them want to be in 2050, and they don't want to take care of women in that way.” (25:18-25:32 | LaToya)
• “I've had men tell me that I make them feel not needed. And then I would always counter with, well, do you want to be needed or do you want to be wanted? I don't need you to pay my bills, I don't need you to come in and save me, but I do want partnership. I want a relationship. I want companionship. I want love.” (27:28-27:48 | Amesha)
• “Expectations have to be fluid. And what I mean by that is that they vary from relationship to relationship.” (30:15-30:24 | Dr. Kris)
• “People need to date on their level. And if you know you're not happy, you're not in a good place financially, mentally, spiritually, career wise, whatever. Just work on yourself before you bring other people into your mess.” (52:17-52:29 | Dr. Kris)
• “When something works for one person, it doesn't necessarily work for the next person. So you can't come with these cookie cutter ideas and think that they're going to work on every person. You have to take the time to learn the person.” (54:44-54:56 | Dr. Kris)
• “If we take the stigma out of singlehood, I think it could prevent a lot of people from being in toxic relationships, just for the sake of being in a relationship.” (58:20-58:30 | Dr. Kris)
Connect with Dr Kris Marsh:
Connect with LaToya Franklyn, Esq.:
Connect with Dr Darryl Jaye:
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