“I care too much about my child to simply wing it”
Two Days Until Our Parenting Workshop
During our Parenting Community Circle, community participant Karen Barnett introduced a thought-provoking distinction:
“There is a difference between planning a family and family planning.”
Her phrase stayed with us.
We did not hear it as a judgment about how a family began. We heard it as a larger question:
What is the difference between creating a family and intentionally planning for that family’s continued development?
Inspired by Karen’s insight, Dr. Christina Christian expanded the conversation into a reflection about intentional parenting:
Every generation inherits ideas about parenting.
We inherit wisdom, values and traditions worth preserving. We may also inherit approaches developed for a different time, different pressures and a different understanding of children.
But the world changed.
Many of us were not prepared to parent through smartphones, social media, algorithm-driven content, new academic pressures, changing social expectations or the growing mental-health challenges affecting young people.
Some of us were never prepared to recognize anxiety, ADHD, autism or other forms of neurodivergence in our children—or in ourselves.
Nobody gave us a complete rulebook for raising children in this world.
That does not mean our parents failed us. It does not mean we are failing our children.
This is not about shame or blame. It is about recognizing when the world has changed—and giving ourselves permission to update the strategy.
Who is the intentional parent?
The intentional parent is not the person who always knows what to do.
It is the parent who can say:
“I care too much about my child to simply wing it. I want to protect my child. I want to prepare my child. And I am aware that I may have blind spots.”
Intentional parenting is not one decision made before a child arrives. It is a continuing practice as the child—and the world around them—changes.
It means:
Learning who our child is, not only who we expected them to be
Understanding what they need during this stage of development
Recognizing when behavior may reveal anxiety, frustration, an unmet need or a skill that is still developing
Examining what we inherited and deciding what to preserve, update or release
Staying connected to our child’s education in ways that fit our circumstances
Asking for help without treating support as evidence of failure
Preparing children to exercise judgment when we cannot be present
Adjusting our role as protection gradually becomes teaching, coaching and support
The deeper question is not:
“Was I perfectly prepared to become a parent?”
Few people could honestly answer yes.
The more useful questions are:
“Am I prepared to parent in this changing world?”
And:
“Am I continuing to develop the awareness, support and skills my child needs from me now?”
These questions are at the heart of our first parenting workshop:
Protection → Preparation: Navigating Parenting Blind Spots
Saturday, October 10, 2026
10:00 AM–1:00 PM Eastern
This workshop is for thoughtful parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, mentors and educators who understand that love is essential—but love does not automatically allow us to see everything.
We are not gathering to tell parents what they have done wrong.
We are gathering to help one another:
Notice what we may be missing
Understand the child in front of us
Examine whether an inherited strategy still fits
Prepare children for the situations we cannot control
Identify one practical step we can take next
You do not need to arrive as an expert. Bring a question, an experience or simply a willingness to look again.
Reserve your free ticket while supplies last
If you know someone who cares too much about their child to simply wing it, please share this invitation with them.
Protect what must be protected. Prepare them for what eventually must become theirs.
—The Soul Thursdays Team
The original distinction was introduced by Karen Barnett during the Parenting Community Circle. This reflection was written and developed by Dr. Christina Christian.
