When Strength Becomes Heavy: Black Women, Burnout & Boundaries with Dr. April Harris-Britt, Ph.D.
Episode Summary
In this powerful Soul Thursdays conversation, Dr. April Harris-Britt unpacks the “strong, silent Black woman” archetype—where it comes from, why it’s so deeply ingrained, and how it quietly harms Black women’s bodies, minds, and relationships.
From her origin story growing up on a small farm in Durham with a hard-working single mom, to her work as a psychologist, researcher, and advocate, Dr. April traces how messages about silence, independence, and caretaking take root early. She explains how this “superwoman” narrative shows up as overwork, burnout, anxiety, depression, and physical illness—often long before Black women even have language for what they’re feeling.
The episode dives into John Henryism, the cultural pressure to outwork everyone “to death,” and the myth that needing help makes you weak. Dr. April offers a different blueprint: radical self-care, mind–body–spirit rituals, stronger boundaries, and a collective commitment to slowing down and changing the culture of overwork in our families, workplaces, and communities.
Key Takeaways-
The “strong silent Black woman” is both myth and burden.
It celebrates resilience but demands silence, emotional suppression, and endless caretaking at the cost of health and joy. -
Childhood modeling shapes adult burnout.
Watching mothers and grandmothers “do it all” without complaining teaches many Black girls that asking for help is weakness. -
It shows up as illness long before language.
Many Black women describe depression as feeling “off,” “slow,” or “under a cloud,” without realizing it’s burnout, anxiety, or depression. -
Helpers can’t pour from an empty cup.
Whether you’re a therapist, nurse, financial coach, teacher, or caregiver—your body and mind are your primary tools. Self-neglect makes the work unsustainable. -
Overwork is cultural, not personal.
The pressure to “just push through” is rooted in history (like John Henryism) and systems that learn to exploit Black women’s reliability. -
Boundaries will upset people—and that’s okay.
Some family, colleagues, or church folks won’t like your “no.” Self-compassion means honoring your limits anyway. -
Self-care is not soft; it’s survival.
For Dr. April, twice-daily workouts are non-negotiable—one to start the day with endorphins, one to “shake off” the trauma and drama she holds for others. -
Representation at the table matters.
As one of few Black psychologists in leadership spaces, Dr. April uses her voice to influence policy, laws, and decisions impacting Black families. -
We must change the pace of our culture.
The more of us who normalize rest, saying no, and slowing down, the less “wrong” it feels to step off the hamster wheel.
Dr. April Harris-Britt is a licensed psychologist based in Durham, NC, specializing in trauma, violence, resilience, adoption, and family systems. Since 2003, she has provided therapy, evaluations, research, and advocacy, serving on state and national boards to amplify Black voices and shape mental health policy rooted in equity and representation.
Quotes
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“We were so poor that sharing a Happy Meal once a month was a treat—but I never saw my mother complain, cry, or ask for help.”
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“If you want it done, call a Black woman. If you want it done right, call a Black woman—and that comes with a cost.”
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“The strong Black woman schema says we don’t feel anger or sadness the same way, and we should stay nice so we’re not mischaracterized.”
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“It doesn’t come with magic beans. They give you ten committees and no extra pay, and you’re supposed to feel honored.”
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“We’re not invincible. We can’t take everything on—and we shouldn’t.”
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“I’m not a savior, I’m not a martyr. I’m not saving anyone at my own expense.”
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“All day I work with trauma and drama. My workout is how I shake it off so my passion doesn’t kill me.”
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“As long as we’re programmed to spin fast, slowing down feels wrong. We have to change this culture together.”
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